This coffee falls into your stomach, and straightway there is a general commotion. Ideas begin to move like the battalions of the Grand Army of the battlefield, and the battle takes place.Things remembered arrive at full gallop, ensuing to the wind. The light cavalry of comparisons deliver a magnificent deploying charge, the artillery of logic hurry up with their train and ammunition, the shafts of with start up like sharpshooters. Similes arise, the paper is covered with ink; for the struggle commences and is concluded with torrents of black water, just as a battle with powder.
– Honoré de Balzac
It was May Term of my freshman year in college, at 6am, and I was hardly functioning. My brother-in-law’s Grandma had been kind enough to let me live with her for the month, and she gave me free reign of the house, including the kitchen. I tried not to use up her resources, and usually got my food and coffee on campus, but on this particular morning I needed caffeine before walking out the door. It was a morning that hadn’t necessarily woken up. I was awake… I was just still awake from the night before, and I needed coffee badly. I found her coffee can in the cupboard, put two scoops in the drip coffee maker, set it for one serving, and put the finishing touches on my literary review.
I arrived at my Lit of the Western World class, paper in hand, and large embarrassing sweat marks that went down to my elbows. I felt awake. I felt very, very awake. And alert. And happy. At my desk, I was doing that annoying thing people do where they bounce their legs up and down really fast. A good friend told me that I had the appearance of being very “under the influence” of “something.”
I excused myself early from class that day, hopped on my bike, and rode around campus as fast as possible, in hopes that if I went really really fast, I would allow the energy to crash out of me at the same pace.
Back at Grandma’s house, I went straight for the coffee can to examine it. Opening it up, I took a look at the scoop: 1/4 cup. The scoop I usually use at home is a tablespoon. I’d made myself a cup of coffee using 1/2 cup of coffee grounds instead of the intended 2 tablespoons, and I’m a pretty small girl! It took several hours, if not days, to get back to “normal,” and I’m still working on recovering my reputation.